The deep dark thing that is Man

Oh what a face!
Wonderful clothes,
matching shoes
and watch.
A fragrant deodrant.
Oh God! What a man.
But is he a man?
If the face was an impression of heart
I am sure
most of us would be dark.

If only

One day, I will go away.
I will die,
never to come back again,
ever.
I wish, for me,
she cries, when I am gone.
Its so vain, of me,
to think, that she will,
but if only she would,
it would be like
a world of roses,
even in the fire of the hell.

If only I am missed,
for all the times
I wasn't there,
even though it is,
but for a second,
that second, would be like,
a million years of bliss for me.

If only, I get a reply,
to the thousand of letters
I didn't send,
even though it be a silent one,
that silence would be worth
more than a zillion words.

If only she loves me….

If only…

moon

My most recent.
and rather heartfelt........

Not all can get the moon,
She's bright,beautiful
and enriching like some mountain spring,
the elixir of life;
and all the stars in the world
fade in the light of her face.
Yes, she is something which shouldn't have
come to the earth.
The envy of a thousand princesses,
lovely. the desire of Gods.
And yet, for all she is,
She is, but in my head.
Real, and still she doesn't exist.
An image, idolized.
An ode to perfection.
Yes, she is not true;
but a beautiful lie
I have spoken to me.
A moon that is mine
but which I can never have.

Do I love her?

I was smitten by the teenage love.
I wrote it when I was younger.
And I post this one today
for I am still full of that hunger.

Do I love her?
Do I love her?
Of course not.
Can't you see,
She is not what I want.
But then,
Why in the spring,
when the flowers are
blooming by my side;
When the wind is
smoothly caressing me
with its hand.
When there is so much to see,
Why am I still
lost in her thoughts?

Why in the winter,
when all around is snow;
when no living soul
would dare venture out;
Why then I spend my mornings there,
Standing in front of her house
to see, but a glimpse
by that window side?

Why in the mornings,
When the sun is baking all;
And the hot ferocious wind is
sucking energy out;
Why then would I come to,
come to her at noon,
When all I would be getting,
just the moonlight
not the moon.

Do I love her?
C'mon are you mad?
I still insist that
I love her not.

Right ho!

People change as the time changes. And nobody can be a meaner man than the one who forgets his friends at the time of their troubles. Don't help if you don't want to but the least you can do is talk to them.And they will be happy till the end of their days.

Right ho!
Hey! I am here.
Hey! Come on!
Can’t you see me.
Have you lost your eyes
Or is it your will
To talk to a ragged poor man.
Yesterday you were at my doorsteps.
Bringing flowers and what not
And yesterday I answered you
With a valet
and a carpet on my floor.
Today they are gone,
And so have you.
But at least talk to me.
Don’t you remember
The keys that I had given
And today you have bought your car.
You can lower the glasses at least.
I won’t come and ride you,
I am not like that,
And moreover,
my legs are still intact.

Fighting.....till the end

I am rather morose these days...I have not been keeping well...rather strained emotionally. but I am not losing it. I can't. I just can't hope to survive if I do. and then the life would be more torturous than the death.

In the darkness lives a light
And deep within the wilderness,
a hope.
And when all seems lost,
You can still see a small opening
In the solid brick wall.

The wall is sturdy and tall.
And yet the opening is enough for
the poor worker to chug along.
Success may look vain,
Or way to far,
but for the brave,
no battle is too difficult
& no path too long.
And if it is still too much to aspire
The least you can do is die trying

wasted spring

Whenever I see the girl I feel like that something is missing. Beauty is not meant to be gloomy and yet I feel gloomy. I dont know what is it or how is it but may be its bcoz I havent seen that heavenly smile.

Your eyes,
so melancholy,
abrim of grief unknown
and sufferings untold.
Your lips,
Red, and yet not rosy,
Like blood, clogged in the flesh.

The face,
An expression of despair.
A fire unburnt,
But long extinguished.

The stature
Could have been graceful,
And your beauty praiseworthy,
But you look
like a wasted spring,
where even the flowers are not fragrant,
and even the birds not beautiful.

Love is not enough

It is a story of many a heart. The boundaries, the seas of separation, things that divide the people, that kill many a love story even before it is born.....

All I am saying is ..........give love a chance...............

Is love not enough
of a reason?
Why walls come between
the high flying hearts?

I love a girl
and she loves me not
and thats b'coz
I m not like her.
We share similar tastes,
I can read her heart;
And still I am different
'coz I m different by birth.

Years I have spent loving
all the while making me more of a man
but how can I undo the past
and how can I change the way I was born.

I am good
and it still ain't a reason
good enough for the love to unfurl,
And she would have loved
I am sure of it ,I know
had I not been different by birth.

Decades after the freedom,
are we still free enough to choose?
Where the shackles of stupid tradition
bind us, our bodies and emotions alike.

I am talking not of a village
where may be, light has still not come,
But a city, where all are literate
and still not educated enough.

The lady meets again

This is the sequel to my earlier poem 'The lady in the reservation queue'. All these 'accidents' kept happening to me in the year I was preparing for the IIT-JEE after completing my 12th.Hope you enjoy it as much as I liked writing it.

Remember the eyes
i told about, afore,
Well, i saw them again
and I leapt once more.

They were the same
my eyes can't mistake.
I can bet the were,
my sanity at stake.

Well, I had been to the post office
to post a mail,
I saw the set there,
sitting on a chair, their owner, in a veil.

U can think of my astonishment,
and elation, and surprise
The world I had searchrd for them
and they were there, in front of my eyes.

I advanced towards her,
hoping to get some small talk.
But even before I could reach
she stood up for a walk

I remember commentng on weather,
and then bollywood, and then Iraq
But she kept her own company
and I kept groping in the dark.

The time was slowly trickling
My desperation furthur mounting
I decided to take a final risk
Although dangers I kept counting.

Just as she was to go,
I went to her and said.
My heart was pumping overtime.
Sweat flowing through my forehead.

"Mam I had seen you before too,
And I love your eyes since then,
And I have been half mad, in search of you,
All laughing at me, those men.

Fully aware of the troubles that await me
I propose to you my love
In your hands I leave my destiny
Plz accept me, me, my love."

She looked at me surprised,
One not knowing what to do.
All the people present were lookin at me
as one look at a monkey in a zoo.

Unperturbed I stood t here,
waiting for some reply.
I had steeled my heart for rejection.
I just prayed, my luck would apply.

She stormed out to a waiting car
Her emotiond I couldnt see.
The carbegan to move forward
My heart sank to some deep sea.

The window glasses were lowered
A paper thrown out, all crumpled.
the car went away as IO rushed towards it
I picked the paper, by now completely trampled.

A phone number was scribbled on it
The handwriting beautiful, curly.
My elation, excitement knew no bounds
I started making air castles, although it was a bit too early.

I have yet to go and call her
a day, although has passed.
But I am taking things very cautiously
I dont want to miss this chance.

Why are there wars?

Well, sometimes I wonder. Why does a man kill another man?
I wonder about the wars, about their futility. Aren't there enough troubles already without them. And still we have them. Every day pictures flash on the tv screen. A war ravaged land; hungry children; dead cattles; fields becoming graveyards; And still there are wars...........

Why are there wars?
events, so gloriously horrified.
The battles, horribly glorified.
the seeds crumbling,
the plants dying
and the majestic trees falling;
and the mighty mountains flattening.

Why are there wars?
Princess of Death
smiling everywhere,
kissing the children
that have barely crawled out of their teens
Seducing those

with the families and children
and who should otherwise
never have been unfaithful to life.
The king of the army of the departed
coming to take more for the army it has made.

Why are there wars
which leave the houses haunted
and futures barren
and a present so pompously out of fate.
And that, knowing all
the words of God and his son,
with numerous others that martyred in his cause.

And still there are wars..........
And still there are wars..........

You wanted me to write about you and I can write a thousand things and my pen won't stop. You know what I feel about you............and still you know but naught.

I tried to write about you
and a sea of emotions
flooded me.
A wave taking me elsewhere,
You know, in another world,
away from the shore.
I saw a rainbow
and I saw some clouds,
but mostly it was the Sun.
And when I saw inside
I found everything in the dazzling blue,
a brilliant hue,
and a great contrast to the world I had come from.
You know,
You filled colours into
what was a grey potrait of a man.
And now I can feel the radiance
beaming out of the picture.
I would have said you are a great artist,
a maestero,
but no, you are not
just limited to that;
a magician
would be more like it.
Yes, had I wanted to commit
blasphemy,
I would have compared you to my God.
This is you for me, my dear,

this is you for all you are.

A troubled soul

It was the time I said something................and I say this.

I always wondered
what it was to have friends.
Oh Yes! I had friens.
I would move around with them,
play cricket
and talk God knows what shit,
but still I didnt have one.
Things would remain
buried in my bosom,
ailimg me, itching me,
but finding no expression
until I switched to words.
I didnt know
what it was to have a mate
who could talk things other than cricket
and the lasses.
I had none
who would try and venture
into my world.

the love has a dark side too...

Ok love, it isn't for you that I wrote this. But I was feeling rather low and these r what were coming to me.
Ought to tell you what I was feeling.

The Dead and The Heartbroken

A dead knows no wounds;
Its heart doesn't bleed
when it is stabbed with a dagger,
in a beautiful hand.
The life in its eyes
is already lost
and the colour
of the cheeks
is no more pink.
Yes, the dead is oblivious to pain
and to heartbreak,
and to the agony that comes with it.
The dead is in peace,
even though it comes after death.

A long tale of love

The day I wrote last and until now, I have gone through a lot many emotions. The thrill, the joy and the subsequent dejection and longing. The next three poems are connected, showing the three stages of love.
I have posted them in the order I wrote.
Over to you bard!

** The proposal **

I started off to make a friend of you
and I very miserably failed
For however hard I tried to confine my feelings
and yet I couldn't help thinking of more.


The charm that has may enchanted
has also a spell on this mortal soul,
And whatever means I tried to get rid of it
and yet I couldn't come out of it whole.


I don't know if you have noticed,
but none have missed
the sparkle in my eyes
when you are around;
And it is certainly strange
that I have told my feelings to all
but the one to whom this heart is bound.


It also is strange
that I still miss you most
though the ship of time has long left your shore,
And I want to tell you today
than anything else in this world
I love you more


********** Dejected, but not discouraged ***********

Can I propose to you, just once more.

I know you have turned me down twice
I know i am full of vice;
But I dont want to abandon
the hope of a glorious world.
Hey! Can I propose to you, just once more.

It is tough to hear the no
I know your heart feels so,
But ask yourself just this one time,
Cant I, even for a day, come into your life.
Hey! cant you make me your.
Can I propse to you, just once more.

The past has been past, and it was bad.
And I still look to it, when I am sad.
But the future is now.
Showing its glorious head out of the clouds.
Just look at me once again
I will look to you, sane and pure.
Hey! Can I propose to you, just once more.


********** A lost hope and the world after **********

Afterburns

I never thought
you could mean
so much to me.
It was in fun
that loved you first,
and I never took myself
too seriously;
I kept loving you
and I thought,
its just because
I have no other girl
to go to.
A long while later
I proposed to you
and I never thought you would say anything but no.
I was ready for rejection
I was brave enough to face,
But when it came
and when you said
you value me so much more as friend
but still declined to go all the way,
and I thought initially,
'Ok! this is what I knew
will happen to me,'
and I still thought
I was strong
enough to handle it
and more over I was
never too serious about you.
But in an hour itself
I felt the folly of my thoughts.
You mean so much more to me
I didn't know it, until then.
'you are my friend,' and you said,
'you will always be'
And I am crying in my heart
why is it this way.
you could have said to me, "No,
Get off you bugger
Get lost from my life."
and it would have been easier
to shut you out;
But the way you said
made me fall in love with you more
And it is so hard on my heart
to face the rock of my feelings
crush me under its weight,
and now I have taken myself seriously
Yes, I love you more than I ever thought.

love letter

He loved a girl and loved her more than the spring would love a rain. He felt more complete on getting a glimpse of her than a river would feel on reaching an ocean. Ocean it was, his love for her and still he couldn't express his feelings in three simple words.
I wrote this love letter on his behalf to be conveyed to his object of affection although it never reached her and the person in question is still in sufferance.

Gone r the Days of my freedom
Now I m your slave -
at least in soul.
the Romeos today face stiff competition
As I m bowled over and in your complete fascination
Nothing of the sort had happened before
to me and I was happy to be sane and sure.
Your, but one glimpse has left me breathless.
Your memories take up my full night
And a great part of the day.
It isn't for your looks
that I have fallen this time,
It is something much beyond that -
Something unworldly I feel about you.

It is not physical -
this love I mean.
It has more to do with the soul.
I renounce, hence -
I am yours
But will you be mine?
I love thee
But will thou shower thy love on me?
O my goddess;
Just say yes;
Even a nod will do fine
I m ready to wait till the doomsday
But I will certainly prefer if it comes today
Your reply I mean.

My lady and our friend

I wrote this when I was heartbroken, tottering, limping around. The girl, I had crush on, had long moved ahead, leaving me banging my head on the walls. But you know what – fate finally smiled on me and I did it, what I had been longing to do. It is this story that I present before you.

One day,moving about in the street,

I came across my very old friend sweet.

We started with a formal 'hi' and 'hello'

And then we talked about another class fellow.

It was the guy who had fallen in love

with the same girl on whom I had my crush.

He beat me there and proposed her first,

The girl agreed and my poor heart was hurt.

My love,my girl, he had so cleverly trapped

that I was left strangled, choked and gagged.

The two shared a passionate relation

And kissed around much to my desperation.

For all my attempts to erect, between them, a wall,

I consistently got to eat bricks and balls.

So, tired,I had lost all hopes to get her

when this lucky bit of news got to my ear.

The guy now had split with my lady

And not without a fight quite good,quite saucy.

They had shouted at each other and on phone

And prayed for hell for each other's soul.

The couple now was formally split

And this bit of news brought back spring in my step.

I went ahead,I lost no time,

My sweetheart now she is, that lady so fine.

So, friends take my word -

Don't lose time to confess your love

A delay, and you never know,

someday else will trap and take away your dove.

May be, I am not as great as I first thought I was

I wrote this when I was in the blues.
My myth of a life was getting busted right in front of my eyes and it was hard for me to bear it.
I was trying to gather the ashes.
trying to be a phoenix.

May be, I am not as great as I first thought I was

With years of forced conviction.

the luxury of being the sole walking

in a bunch of those who limped;

the fortune of being OK

in a group of the average;

The views strengthened

with biased results

and I start thinking

Hey, may be , I am good.

The ego soaring 

no rational thinking

Oh yes, I think I am great

And the butterings, the pamperings;

the one eyed king

in the kingdom of the blind

And then I come out

to face the world;

to fight a lonely battle

with no aides by my side;

and still I win the first round

and I think, 

May be, I am really great

This, the trick,

the God had played

I drop my guard

only to be thrashed by life

in round two, three and four.

But I still think- 

I will come back

I am great

The game’s not over yet.

And then I am knocked out

I lose the match,

All battered and thrashed.

Its now that I realize 

May be – I am not as great as I first thought 

Though the belief 

Has yet to go in all

But subdued greatly, oh yes.

“Worry not , though” , I still say to myself

Not all is over yet

There still are a

hundred bouts remaining 

Super human – Oh no, you are not

but human alone can win

Be yourself, just see the light 

And don’t think of win,

Just enjoy the fight

This is all - I say to myself

I wrote this poem on an inspiration to write something about people all around the world, there miseries, their fight and their hopes.

It was written at a time when i myself was preparing for my IIT JEE, and was in a terrible shape. At home. Always in tension. I have another poem where I have recorded my agonies but that will come later.

Some places where

even the sun refuses to shine

Some trenches in the sea

Some very deep ravines,

Some flowers, that don't smile

Some petals frozen by

Some leaves a bit too white

No peace, neither side.

Some men tramped upon

Some children, living no,ad

Bellies empty, hunger burns

the bullets , few men earn.

Why hate when love abounds?

Why killings the world around?

What borders nations make?

Why kill for some God's sake?

Some people live,

Some people die.

Some bullets fly,

Some orphans cry.

Some burly men

A panting hen

Some racy dogs

One lazy fog

And the word goes around

With everyone singing in a song

the Dawn is not too far

it will end...

it will end...

the night will end soon.

The lady in the reservation queue

Its my first post.
Thank God that I finally made it. I don't know about the future to come but I will start with my poems.
I had written for somebody I was hoping to meet and which I am hoping still. The beautiful feeling of love which I keep feeling on and off. and i wrote this for one such girl that I saw.
so lets start

One Day-
Some work made me visit the Railway Station
I had to buy some tickets and get a reservation.
I stood waiting, as the queue was long
to beat the time I kept singing a song.

A few minutes in the queue - I saw someone enter
She was all clad in a burqa although it was a hot summer.
Her face I couldn't, but her eyes I could see,
And it struck me sudden, how good looking she would be.

Her forehead was white,with slightest tinge of yellow,
I then realised, I was watching no common fellow.
Her eyes were the most beautiful, I had ever seen
A hint of elegance made her look no less than a queen

Her voice when I heard,was music to my ears
Even a dying man on hearing, will forget all his fears.
Her head was covered with a cloth of greenish brown colour
If I had a chance,for her, I would have died then and there.

The time she was there,I stood watching spellbound
Only hours after she left, did my senses come around.
Never again did I see her, though strived I for days,
And never again would I forget those eyes so good, so gay.